Toxic parents are driving referees out of youth sports
A 12 second viral video clip that’s been viewed more than 1.5 million times on X captures the youth sports referee crisis across the country. In the video, a veteran soccer ref fired back at a parent after being asked why he is on the field for yet another match.
“Do you know why I’m doing seven games in 24 hours?” the referee said. “Because there are fewer and fewer people willing to do this. Do you understand that? And most of the time, people are unwilling to do it because of people like you. So, why don’t you just grow up, please!“
The referee received a round of applause and went back to work, but many like him are quitting in droves. Verbal, and in some cases physical, abuse from parents and coaches, low pay, age-related concerns and the thankless nature of the job are contributing to the exodus.
The National Federation of State High School Associations said it has lost more than 50,000 officials since the 2018-2019 season, and the problem is worse at the youth level. The dwindling pool of officials has led to games being delayed, rescheduled or outright canceled.
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The National Federation of State High School Associations says it lost more than 50,000 officials since the 2018-2019 season.
Even the football hotbed of Texas, home to “Friday Night Lights,” is dealing with the shortage.
Bishop Louis Reicher Catholic High School in Waco, Texas, had to move its Friday, Sept. 26, game to Saturday simply because they didn’t have enough referees. Jimmy Clark, a game assigner for the Texas Association of Sports Officials, told KWTX-TV they’ve lost 40% of their officials over the last 16 years.
What can be done to address the shortage?
Parents behaving badly at youth games get all the headlines, and it’s becoming a bigger issue as the cost and pressures of youth sports skyrocket, but the problems begin behind the scenes. Daneen Goncalves owns The Referee Advocates, a referee management organization for youth soccer in Minnesota. She’s seeing more awareness of the issue, but the fix may take a while.
“We can no longer just rely on the people that are passionate about sports to be able to fill in,” Goncalves said. “Begging them to fill into a spot — that is not a model that’s going to work anymore. We have to put money towards it. We have to put time and attention towards the referee experience if we want to see something change.”
Goncalves told Straight Arrow News that creating a framework for training and certification and working with clubs and coaches to place those officials is the starting point. New officials also need time to develop their skills and learn on the job, which will eventually create a pipeline for high-end leagues and games. Retention is an issue because some coaches, parents and players aren’t tolerant early on.
“Resilience is really key,” Goncalves said. “Part of what we do in our programming is making sure that they understand that it is going to be a stressful job. It is something that’s hard. And you will have somebody say something against your call. It will happen.”
Parents, give the game back to the kids
Former NHL player Landon Ferraro was excited to make a little money in the sport he loved as a 13-year-old. He took all the classes, got certified, bought a uniform and signed up to ref a week of games for $20 a pop. Until an incident on his first time on the ice.
“These two kids ran into each other. Neither of them had the puck. They hit each other hard, as fast as six-year-olds can go,” Ferraro told the “Better Sports Parents” podcast. “One coach comes out and he’s just trying to help his player. And the other coach comes out, and he is screaming at me. There should have been a penalty, all this. I’m sitting there, I’m a kid. It was the first thing that went into my mind. ‘I’m never doing this again.’ It was scary.”
That story can be typical unless those involved know that learning is part of the process. Goncalves believes in giving the game back to the kids, letting them handle the ups and downs — referees included.
“With the clubs that we partner with, we’re really clear in our communication to the coaches who are then communicating to the parents around what to expect at what age level,” Goncalves said. “Like our U-9 to U-12 age group. That’s our developing level. You are not gonna get a FIFA-style referee at that age. But this probably won’t surprise you — that’s where we have most of the problems.”
Who else is helping to solve the shortage?
Communities — and many professional teams — are now realizing the scope of the problem. A new online training program for youth officials is launching in Atlanta early next year. The Georgia Recreation and Park Association is partnering with the Atlanta Braves, Falcons and Atlanta United to create what they call a first-of-its-kind virtual officiating course to address the shortage.
Greg McMichael, the Atlanta Braves senior director of alumni relations, told WSB radio in Atlanta that the shortage of referees has reached a critical point.
“It’s a tough situation right now because we really do need people wanting to officiate,” McMichael said. “We’re providing an opportunity for that to happen, and we’re excited about what’s going to come of it.”
Goncalves sees the shift, too. Youth organizations know investing in officials makes them look good. Giving parents and coaches an outlet for their frustrations will also help them buy into that process.
“I think this is sort of the boiling pot. If parents and coaches don’t have an outlet to express their frustration, it ends up landing on the referee,” Goncalves said. “So, we have a game feedback form that we highly encourage our entire community to use so that they can let us know what they’re seeing out there, and they actually become a part of the solution.”
Understanding it’s not a quick fix is important. Even businesses with experience in the space know that building a sustainable pipeline for officials that can lead to greater numbers down the road takes patience, structure and perhaps most important — money.
The post Toxic parents are driving referees out of youth sports appeared first on Straight Arrow News.
Ella Rae Greene, Editor In Chief
