More Americans are delaying parenthood until their 40s. Here’s why

ATLANTA — Lindsay Casterlow and her husband, Eric, had a love story straight out of the movies. They were high school sweethearts, prom dates and married only a couple of years after graduation. The Casterlows seemed to be ahead of everyone else when it came to building their lives. 

But when they started trying to have children, their story didn’t unfold as expected. 

Lindsay was left heartbroken after suffering a miscarriage at 18. 

“We were devastated. It took me a while to get over the emotional pain,” she told Straight Arrow News (SAN). 

“A while” became more than two decades. Although they appeared content to the outside world, the Casterlows longed to become parents.

“We always wanted a family, but it just wasn’t happening for us,” Lindsay said. 

Finally, the couple turned to fertility treatments, and with the help of Dr. Sue Ellen Carpenter in Atlanta, Lindsay gave birth to their daughter on their 23rd wedding anniversary. Lindsay was 42, and Eric was 44. 

A growing trend

The Casterlows’ journey to parenthood is, in many ways, unique. But it also places them among a growing number of couples who became first-time parents in their 40s. 

Personal and biological factors are pushing pregnancy later into life for many Americans. With the cost of living more than doubling since 1990, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, along with longer career paths and advances in reproductive medicine, waiting has become a logical choice for many.

“There has been a steady increase over time,” said Carpenter, who has seen an influx of moms like Lindsay Casterlow in recent years. “I would say, over at least the past 15 years.” 

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, births to women aged 40 and older have more than tripled since 1990, from 1.2% of all births to 4.1% in 2023. These women represent the oldest mothers in the U.S., but the increase in age can be seen even earlier: Births to women in their early 30s also continue to climb, now making up nearly 30% of all U.S. births. 

Single motherhood

Motherhood for Cheri Bergeron also came much later than planned. After separating from her husband of eight years, she became a single mother by choice, giving birth to her daughter at 44 and her son at 46. 

“I wasted a lot of time believing I had to have a husband to earn the right to become a mother,” Bergeron told SAN. “Looking back, I realize I wasn’t broken. The fairy tale was.” 

Bergeron had to face several tough realities that many women in their 40s encounter during their journey to motherhood. After numerous unsuccessful IVF cycles, she was told her own eggs could no longer be used.

“I learned that my eggs weren’t viable, my ovaries were shot,” Bergeron said. “Frankly, it was a total shock. I came to realize I was totally naïve about my fertility timeline.”

The revelation led Bergeron to make the difficult decision to use donor eggs for her pregnancies. 

“I decided to use a 27-year-old egg donor,” she told SAN. “Of course, I had to let go of the dream that my children would share the same genetics, but that idea paled in comparison to the prospect of becoming a mother.”

Timelines and technology

While modern medicine has helped many mothers become parents, having children later in life can still be a challenging journey, Carpenter said. This path is not as straightforward as some — particularly celebrities — may make it seem. 

“We don’t know who froze their eggs at 32,” Carpenter told SAN. “Every time a celebrity publicizes a delivery over 40, 45, even 50, I worry that women are led to believe this is expected.” 

While many women’s bodies can conceive pregnancies into the early 50s, Carpenter said that egg quality and quantity sharply decline with age. 

“The most frequent conversation I have with women over 40 is their hope that being fit and healthy means their eggs won’t have aged,” Carpenter said. “But we get all our eggs before we’re born, and they age no matter how well we take care of ourselves.” 

Modern fertility technology can help hopeful mothers leap over some of these obstacles, said Carpenter. But it comes at a steep cost. 

“It’s something that takes a great deal of money,” Carpenter said. “But it also takes courage.” 

The financial aspect often comes up in discussions of later parenthood, said Nathaniel A. Turner, an Atlanta-based lawyer and financial advisor. For many of the parents Turner works with, waiting isn’t just biological; it’s economic. 

Turner and his wife deliberately waited until they completed their advanced education and were financially stable before having children. 

“People are making a frank, unapologetic decision to build a stronger foundation for the next generation,” Turner said. 

Costs

According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, the cost of raising a child from birth to age 17 in 2015 was about $233,610. With inflation, that number now exceeds $300,000 in 2025 — and that’s before kids enter college. Child care alone can run more than $10,000 per year on average, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Those figures aren’t lost on Turner’s clients, many of whom weigh those costs carefully before deciding when or whether to start a family.

 “We are delaying parenthood for a purpose,” he said.

Nyema Barber’s journey to parenthood was also filled with purpose. A mother of four, Barber thought her family was complete after having her first child at 16. Then, at 41, she gave birth to her son, Legacy, conceived through in vitro fertilization (IVF) using her wife’s eggs. 

“Parenthood after 40 isn’t about starting over, it’s about starting deeper,” Barber told SAN. “It’s about love chosen deliberately.” 

Even as fertility options expand and the federal government publicizes plans to significantly reduce the costs of IVF, many women still struggle with the system that’s supposed to support them. A new national report, State of Maternal Health 2025 from The Harris Poll, found gaps in care across the pregnancy journey. 

Among more than 2,300 women surveyed, 77% said there is not enough focus on postpartum health, and 66% experienced mental health issues after giving birth, with most receiving little or no support. 

“Too many women have gone through the pregnancy journey without the proper information, support, and follow-up care they deserve,” said Christina Lojek, research manager at The Harris Poll. No matter the reasons for having children after 40, whether it’s focusing on career, achieving financial stability, or simply personal growth, the result is the same: More women are becoming mothers later, often on their own terms.

The post More Americans are delaying parenthood until their 40s. Here’s why appeared first on Straight Arrow News.

Ella Rae Greene, Editor In Chief